I love the idea of New Year's resolutions. In fact, I am one of those people that gets super excited about it, really pumped up about doing something new or doing something better. Even if one 'falls off the wagon' a few weeks after starting a New Year resolution, I still think the idea of trying to improve some aspect of your life is admirable. I am working really hard on living 'with intention'. Not choosing too many things to change at once, but rather maybe just choosing one thing to focus on. The impact of focusing on changing a small thing in your life is usually bigger than you could have ever dreamed.
After many difficult personal struggles over the last few years; the diagnosis of my daughter's bipolar disorder and our family's struggle with her illness and also losing my sweet little boy, Benjamin, in my 2nd trimester, I am still so so grateful to God for all of the many blessings around us. My daughter has made an amazing recovery. My faith has never been tested as much as it did during her most difficult times. I learned to live in the moment, just get through the day, the next hour or the next 5 minutes. I learned how to experience joy, real joy, even if it was only for a few minutes, on days that most would look at and describe as being a terrible day. I learned to pray to God for enough light to see my next step. Things weren't going to get better at the speed I would like, I needed to be very patient. I learned how to be calm despite the storm around me. My girl is getting better each day and is growing into being a strong, beautiful, confident young lady. Take that bipolar-disorder! So grateful to the amazing medical team she had to help her through and a family that wasn't going to give up no matter what. My family is so much closer to each other than we were before being challenged as we were. God has a plan through all struggles, as long as we are open to growing during the most difficult times. My little Benjamin, is in the best of all places. I will see him again. I joined a 'club' I didn't want to join when I lost him. I now possess a perspective on appreciating life that I didn't have before. I join so many moms and families that have also had to bury their child. It breaks your heart. Mine I admit was shattered. It is still hard. But again, I will see him again, someday, just not yet...
Here is to a new beautiful year...may you all be inspired, renewed and ready to take on anything that comes your way in 2012, with a smile.......
